How To Survive A Steam Roller

Hitting a steam roller can be like a rite of passage for some people. Smoking cannabis is sometimes a huge milestone in a kid’s high school life, and it certainly was in mine for God knows why. After I had been smoking for a good few weeks, mainly due to lovely contributions from my already stoner friends, one buddy decided I was ready to hit his big ol’ pipe. I never even knew what it was called for the longest time because my friend and I always assumed it was just a typical glass pipe but bigger. It was definitely a steam roller, though, and I wasn’t a huge fan personally. Still, I can definitely see why some people particularly enjoy it since it can get you feeling pretty damn lifted in just about ten seconds. I did a pretty decent job of it, but I certainly still ended up coughing quite a bit. Another friend of mine shortly started smoking as well, and when he got around to hitting that same steam roller, he instantly turned and puked over the balcony railing. So how can one prepare themselves and make sure to avoid any degree of humiliation? Pretty simple common sense, really.
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Humans have this weird innate drive to fit in and belong, and maybe that is what contributes to this insane mentality that we don’t want to look like we are lesser in any way to our friends. Especially in groups of guys, anything can become a competition no matter how trivial it is.

The same applies to smoking. It can be tempting to keep chugging away at the bowl your friend packed you, but only you know your limits, and there’s nothing wrong with failing to clear the bowl. Sure, you might get teased a bit, but not as much as you will if you start coughing for ten minutes straight or puke like that unfortunate pal of mine. If it’s your first time smoking from a steam roller, it’s a good idea to take it slow and feel out of your limits. Take a small puff and see how it feels going down your lungs, then experiment a bit and see how far you can push your limits. Don’t try to go for the heroic, fully packed bowl immediately; that’s just silly. Everything said in this article applies doubly if you’re trying one for the first time at a party.

Amanda R. Dubose

Spent high school summers getting to know dogmas in Minneapolis, MN. Spent several years merchandising walnuts worldwide. My current pet project is researching Slinkies in Jacksonville, FL. Spoke at an international conference about testing the market for action figures in Hanford, CA. Spent the better part of the 90's lecturing about cellos in Orlando, FL. Spent 2001-2007 building sausage in Naples, FL. Tv fanatic. Internetaholic. Travel expert. Incurable zombie nerd. Coffee advocate. Hardcore web trailblazer. Gamer.