Six Business Technologies That Don’t Work

Decades because of the creation of private computing, there are nevertheless too many enterprise technologies that don’t work. Oh, the hardware and software program companies will let you know that they do. But they still don’t get it. For instance, go to Microsoft’s guide web page and type in “Microsoft Word Error” (miss the fees). I did this and was given 2,380,000 outcomes. Is this indicative of something running?


Of route, I’m no longer sincere. Many of these consequences cross again in time. Most are minor problems or can be because of my blend of seeking key phrases. And, except for Windows Vista, Microsoft is a good organization that makes exact products. All I recognize is, thank God; they don’t construct airplanes.

For example, we are probably the simplest family in my county that doesn’t own a digital TV. We have a massive Zenith inside the living room that I sold extra than ten years ago, and it’s…Excellent. Yes, I’m a cheapskate. But the aspect works! And actually, do I really want to look at a close-up of Kirstie Alley dancing the Flamenco? The equal is going for my refrigerator. It’s never failed me. Neither has any of the lamps in my residence. Or my indoor plumbing. Or the phone. Or an episode of Seinfeld. Or a Whopper from Burger King. These matters can be counted directly to paintings for me on every occasion I need them.

I wish I should say the same for my Tivo, which still cannot seem to report the right channel all the time. Or my satellite carrier from Sirius always seems to move blank at the precise second when Howard is ready to say something humorous. But those are annoyances. What’s more than an annoyance is when the generation I’m using to run my business is not dependable or regular. In different words: while it would not paintings. And, at least six times, that is occurring too often.

The Cloud. For example, cloud applications may be wonderful, but the cloud continues to be not a working platform for plenty of agencies, both huge and small. A few customers have outsourced their inner computers to organizations that offer them a managed cloud-based totally provider. It’s “OK,” says one client who did not need to be named in this column. Just OK. That’s due to the fact generally, and the performance is gradual. It depends on the rate of the net where human beings are, and the time of day they’re seeking to get something executed. Integrating packages thru the layers of permissions has been difficult. There have been a couple of times where offerings went down. In all instances, these customers muddled via the difficulty. But no person’s operating faster due to it.

Security and reliability within the cloud nevertheless don’t work. Not while our biggest, maximum “depended on” businesses like Google, Sony and Amazon are dropping loads of heaps of emails, misplacing exclusive protection information, or going dark for hours and hours. Why do you believe you studied most corporations, particularly in the financial offerings and healthcare industries, are not going for walks to the cloud? It’s because they have got extraordinarily touchy statistics, and they may be required, by way of regulation, to keep it that way. Sure, cloud packages have quite a few abilities. The future for this generation looks bright. My agency sells some of these. And ensure instances, these answers are a splendid alternative for many organizations. But if you’ve were given a undertaking critical, notably sensitive machine that you depend on to run your business, you are not shifting it to the cloud but. That’s due to the fact the cloud nonetheless does not work.


IE9. I express regret if it looks as if I’m selecting Microsoft right here. But Internet Explorer nine would not work either. I should understand. I upgraded to Microsoft’s new browser about 3 weeks ago. And days when I upgraded, I needed to download Mozilla’s Firefox browser. Why? Because many websites weren’t running properly with my new and progressed IE9. For example, the very weblog that I’m now writing can no longer be uploaded thru Forbes’ running blog equipment like I ought to once I turned into the usage of a preceding version of Internet Explorer. Is this Forbes’ fault? Is this some form of configuration difficulty? I don’t know. Forbes makes use of WordPress, the popular running blog platform. Certain pics on different websites are not performing effectively, if in any respect. Is this happening all the time? Of direction not. For the most component, I’m surfing satisfactory the use of IE9. But I’m going for walks into display and performance issues that I should not be managing in this overdue age of net browsers.

Google’s Apps. Does anyone get this one? I use Google Voice, and evidently, after I get about fifty voicemail messages, I can now not name in and retrieve them so as of when they were obtained. So that doesn’t make paintings. My BlackBerry’s Google Maps is sluggish as molasses and now and again does not deliver me the right function I want, so I still want to print out MapQuest guidelines when I cross the street. So that doesn’t make paintings. Also, am I the simplest business proprietor who hasn’t found out how to use AdWords correctly? I know I’m now not the brightest bulb inside the bunch, but I’ve attempted each keyword aggregate inside the global and still can’t discover my company everywhere whilst looking, even though my stability of dollars receives depleted inexplicably. I’ve spent too much time and money trying to get this to paintings for me and feature given up. Fail.

Skype Video. Skype Video would not work for me either. Ever visible what I look like in my underclothes? It ain’t quite. Just ask any variety of my youngsters’ pals who’ve seen this annoying photo of me within the history (and in crystal clarity) while video-chatting on their MacBooks. My son also video-chats on his iPhone. The first-class is amazing. The overall performance is awesome. I’m a Windows man, and darn it; I want to video chat with my clients too. So I try the use of Skype. And the result is….Meh. The photo is grainy. The overall performance is horrible…Stilted, gradual, uneven. I’ve tried this from many ones of a kind places and with several distinctive human beings. And the results are continually identical. Skype video is inferior to Apple’s video-chatting. Maybe I want to pay to use a better video service for my enterprise. But why? Apple’s video chatting is unfastened.

Printing. Amazingly, most workplace printers don’t work either. My customers grumble about them all the time. Those new “wi-fi” printers mysteriously disappear from the community simplest to surprisingly re-appear mins later. Where do they cross? Even printers that are hard-stressed out to a server occasionally cross AWOL for unknown motives. Anyone who receives the “printer cannot be determined” message knows what I’m speaking about. We’re all used to rebooting servers and printers to clear out the print spool because, for motives unexplained, one million print jobs get queued up and cannot be done. Paper nonetheless gets jammed, much like we’re nonetheless in an episode of Mad Men. And while those problems occur, the printers’ blunders handling tactics do not appear to realize the way to take care of the mistake, resulting in lacking pages or incomplete jobs. We receive inferior printer technology like we are given rush hour visitors and Piers Morgan. A vital evil.

Reports. After eighteen years of promoting enterprise software, do you know what problem is primary for most of my clients? Reporting. Software makers get all wrapped up in sexy new functions and features and loads of methods of doing the precise equal thing that they seem to forget about the essential use of their products: most commercial enterprise software program applications are systems built around databases. And the statistics are still now not entirely reachable.


Sure, a few companies consist of plenty of news with their merchandise. But God forbid if a company wants to create their very own document. Or personalize an existing record. Or need to access statistics remotely from their cell device. Or want to give their customers the capability to retrieve order data once they want. This may be done, but it almost usually calls for dark magic. And the use of doors consultants. Maybe the product’s inner reporting gear may be jiggered. Or maybe a 3rd celebration reporting device (like SAP’s Crystal Reports) must be deployed. In any case, it is no longer smooth. It’s high priced. And the minute something adjustments, like an, improve or a new reporting demand, the whole lot breaks down. Reporting era continues to be a mystery for most small organizations. The primary information is retrievable. But the important analysis, customized for the enterprise’s maximum effective use, isn’t always. This stuff, nevertheless, would not paintings.

Amanda R. Dubose

Spent high school summers getting to know dogmas in Minneapolis, MN. Spent several years merchandising walnuts worldwide. My current pet project is researching Slinkies in Jacksonville, FL. Spoke at an international conference about testing the market for action figures in Hanford, CA. Spent the better part of the 90's lecturing about cellos in Orlando, FL. Spent 2001-2007 building sausage in Naples, FL. Tv fanatic. Internetaholic. Travel expert. Incurable zombie nerd. Coffee advocate. Hardcore web trailblazer. Gamer.